Mushroom Omelettes
by Firefly Fairy In A Bottle
Summary: Think Toad and Yoshi are such great friends? Think again... in more ways than one. A series of drabbles about two bittersweet rivals. Slash.
1. Hat

**AN– Why don't I explain this? Alright, it all started one day when I was playing Mario Kart with my friend. My main is Yoshi. . . or, well, he used to be. And Toad kept on beating me. It infuriated me, and so I declared him my rival. And one day I was thinking about this weird headcanon relationship I've created for them. . . and my crazy head added slash into the picture. So. . . here we go!**

**Title- Hat**

**Genre- Humor**

**Summary- The heat does crazy things to your head. . . Because honestly, Yoshi must have been crazy to think of such a strange question.**

**Words- 512**

**Inspiration- My own little theory/ headcanon concerning Toads.**

**Notes- I think this is really cute.**

It was a slow-paced, peaceful day in the Mushroom Kingdom. The sun was shining all too brightly, making the world blistering hot, and time outside distasteful. Yes, today was a day to stay indoors. And when you're cooped up inside. . . Well, you begin to get bored. And when you get bored. . . you begin to think.

And that brings us here.

Peach Castle was the ideal place to be on such a day. The air conditioning system was superb, and not to mention Daisy brought ice cream– the best in all of Sarasaland, she claimed. No one knew how a desert kingdom could produce ice cream, but they took her word for it anyway.

Toad, for one, thought the ice cream was delicious. He sat in front of a fan, a full bowl of Neopolitan in his lap. Ahh. . . this was the life. Wind in your face, fresh ice cream, hanging out with all of your best friends. . . Total bliss.

"Hey, Toad?"

You could practically hear the mood break and shatter into a million pieces.

Toad looked up, his eyes narrowing at the at the green-and-white dinosaur. "What is it, Yoshi?" He scowled. "You're ruining my ice cream time."

Yoshi blinked. "That mushroomy thing. . . is it part of your head?"

Toad clenched his teeth before letting out a heavy sigh, rolling his eyes. "It's a hat, Rainbow Breath. Why do you wanna know?"

Yoshi shrugged, the ghost of a smirk appearing on his face. "I was just thinking."

Toad's eye twitched, and he turned back to his ice cream, muttering, "That's a first." Thank goodness _that_ was over.

"So. . . do you Toads have hair under there?"

. . . Apparently not. Toad groaned dramatically, throwing his head before turning to Yoshi again. "Yoshi, I don't wanna talk about it. _Go away._"

"Okay," said Yoshi, turning to walk away. The smirk never faded.

Toad looked back to fan, smiling slightly as he brought a spoonful of ice cream to his mouth.

Sudden movement from behind him. Before Toad could act upon it, two green hands found their way around his hat, yanking it off of his head. Toad's hands flew to his head, his spoon falling to the floor with a simple _clack_. Ice cream splattered onto the tile floor.

His eyes riveted to the culprit. "Yoshi!" he shrieked. "Don't. . . don't _do_ that!" He tried to cover his head, which was bare aside from a small, fluffy tuft of dark blue hair.

Yoshi's smirk grew as he ogled the top of Toad's head, making sure he kept the red-and-white hat out of reach. Toad could've sworn he heard a snicker come out of the dirty mouth. "Why shouldn't I? Besides, you're so much cuter like that." He turned away, leaving Toad wide-eyed, speechless, and confused.

_He. . . he thinks I'm cute?_ Toad had been called cute before– plenty of times, really– but never by _Yoshi_. And as his face turned bright red, he decided that there was some part of it that made him feel absolutely sick.

_Hey, wait a minute. . ._

"Yoshi! You get back here with my _hat_!"


	2. Clothes

**Title- Clothes**

**Summary- Cross-dressing **_**sucks.**_** Toad learned this the hard way.**

**Words- 387**

**Inspiration- It was just the first thing that popped into my head.**

**Notes- Okay, so Toadette is Toad's roommate in this series. And she works at One-Up Café.**

**I had so much fun with this, so by all means, expect more!**

Toad sighed, staring at the ground in defeat. How had it come to this. . . ? Currently, he was wearing a pink and white hat, a red vest, and a hot pink dress. Oh, and not to mention a diaper. (Not that he _needed_ it, mind you.)

He walked to the counter and made another caramel mocha ("On the double," just as the sassy red-head had insisted. She probably had somewhere to be, considering those goggles. . . and those boxes of pizza. . . damn, he was hungry.)

_How _had Toadette talked him into this again?

Oh, _right_—the puppy eyes. Dammit.

Yes, Toad's girly, albeit a tad crazy, roommate had talked him into yet another one of her insanely silly ideas. This time the idea just so happened to be "trade outfits and no one will ever be able to tell the difference". Sure, it had seemed legit at the time. . .

But now he was _seriously_ beginning to regret this decision. The hat was too heavy, the dress was just too much fabric, Toadette's shoes were a size too small, and not to mention all of this _pink_!

Thank the Mushroom King nobody knew this was him, or else he would be _mortified_.

"Morning, Toadette!" an all-too familiar voice called out.

Toad hated his life. Hardly looking up from the counter, he muttered a, "Good morning, Yoshi," in his best Toadette voice.

Yoshi stopped at the counter, eying him oddly, before saying, rather bluntly, "Toad. . . why are you wearing Toadette's clothes?"

Toad felt himself sweat. Damn, this stupid _dress_! "Wh-what are you talking about?" he said, his voice faltering with each word. "It's me, Toadette! I-I'm just. . . in a bad mood, because. . .—"

"You don't have to explain," said Yoshi, shrugging. He smirked deviously. "The hatred in your eyes says enough."

Toad turned so pink he almost blended in with his clothing. So _that's _how he had known? Was Toad really _that_ transparent, or—

"Now make me a vanilla bean latte with extra whipped cream and chocolate drizzle. And make it snappy!"

Why that rotten dinosaur!


	3. Shopping

**Title- Shopping**

**Summary- Toad will never set foot in Fire Flower Topic again.**

**Words- 594**

**Inspiration- I just really wanted to write about the princesses.**

**Notes- I'd really like to expand on the princesses' personalities a little bit more. This is my first attempt in doing so.**

**Also, this is the longest drabble so far! Yay!**

Toad hated shopping. He hated shopping beyond belief. He hated all the gossiping and giggling and short skirts and t-shirts and perfume and lip gloss and big malls and changing rooms and big bags and cuteness and cinnashrooms and—

Wait. . . scratch that, cinnashrooms were delicious. But still, he hated shopping at all it stood for.

So of course, now he was wondering why he was out shopping with the princesses. _Dress_ shopping, no less.

"Okay!" Daisy said, stepping out of the dressing room for just about the _fiftieth time_. "How do I look?" She was wearing a banana yellow dress that went a few inches above her knees. It was rufflely and see-through and seriously did remind Toad of a banana. There was only one strap, on her right shoulder. The dress had some sort of sash around it, which was a brighter yellow than the rest of the dress. Near the right side of the ribbon-thing was a sparkly white gem piece that had a few more yellow ribbons sticking out of the top of it.

Peach's eyes sparkled. "Oh, Daisy, sweetie—you look _adorable_!"

Daisy did a quick turn-around, grinning. "Ya think so?"

Rosalina smiled thoughtfully. "You remind me of the bright stars surrounding many of the galaxies I've encountered."

"Why, because I'm shining?"

"No, because you're hot-headed," Toad yelped from the corner.

Daisy snarled. "Oh, shut up. . ."

"Toad!" Peach scolded. "I didn't bring you here so you could berate Daisy about her short temper!"

"Then why _did_ you bring me here?"

"One;" Peach began, listing off reasons of her fingers, which were expertly manicured with bright pink nail polish, "I need to get you a new vest. Two; we need at least _one_ male opinion here. And three—"

"Yoshi works at Fire Flower Topic!" Daisy cried out, knowing the last reason all too well.

Toad could have thrown up right then and there he felt so sick. "You mean you brought me here to _torture_ me?!"

Peach giggled, pink fingertips coming up to cover her glossy lips. "Of course not, silly!" She smiled, and for a second, Toad thought she was crazy when she said, "We brought you here to help you with your love life!"

"M-my _love life_?! You don't mean—"

"You _are_ attracted to Yoshi, are you not?" asked Rosalina, eyes glistening.

"N-_no_! Of course not!"

"I smell _denial_!" shouted Daisy from inside the dressing room.

"I'm not in denial!" Toad shrieked, aiming his voice in her general direction.

"Oh, come on, Toad," said Peach, bending down to come closer to his level. "You say you hate him, but you always end up in really awkward situations with him and end up all embarrassed."

"And your face turns redder than the brightly-colored streaks of a black hole!" adds Rosalina.

Toad feels his face grow hot, and he narrows his eyes at Peach. "That doesn't mean anything!" He looks at the ground. "And it doesn't happen _that_ often. . ."

"That time after Mario saved Peach; in the kitchen?" Daisy reminds him, walking out of the dressing room in the clothes she came in wearing.

"Misunderstanding!" Toad insisted.

"That time on the beach at Isle Delfino?" Peach joined in.

"_Not what it looked like!_"

"_Riiight_," said Daisy, exchanging a knowing look with Peach. "Anyways, Yoshi's shift ends at four, so we better get going."

Toad frowned. "Can we not and say we did?"

"Ah-ah-ah! No excuses!" Peach chirped.

And with that, he was dragged halfway across the mall by a group of giggling princesses.


	4. Who's That Guy?

**Title- Who's That Guy?**

**Summary- Yoshi was most certainly the jealous type.**

**Words- 272**

**Inspiration- I needed an excuse to get into Yoshi's head AND an excuse to use the Toad Brigade.**

**Notes- Apparently this is the shortest drabble yet. Oh, well.**

Yoshi snarled, leaning against the table. He looked down, eying the fungi-headed boy, who was currently giggling, smiling, and staring googley-eyed at the other fungi-headed boy standing in front of him. Yoshi grit his teeth, holding back a growl. Just what was so great about some stupid leader of the Toad Brigade? Yoshi had traveled through the galaxy, too; with Mario on his back! _Literally!_ Toad laughed at something the red-vested one said, and Yoshi found himself holding back a growl. What did _he_ have that Yoshi _didn't_? Some stupid fungus hat?

"So what's it like in space?" asked Toad avidly; wide-eyed.

"Oh, it's really fun," said the red-vested toad—Toaded, Yoshi vaguely recalled. "And there's so much to look at. But all that stuff flying around can really give you a headache."

Toad's eyes sparkled, and for a moment Yoshi wished Toad would look at him with _those _eyes, instead of the usual bitter glare. The thought was quickly brushed aside, though—mostly because Yoshi wasn't about to believe he was _attracted _to that short-tempered mushroom head. "I've been in space, too, y'know!" pointed out Yoshi, eyes narrowing.

"I _know_," recited Toad monotonously, rolling his eyes.

"And at least _I_ was out there _doing _something, not just standing aro—"

"_Yoshi!_" Toad cried, one harsh hand motioning for Yoshi to leave. Yoshi frowned, but obliged, casting one last disapproving look at the pair.

Could he ever compare?

"So. . . ," began Toaded, just as Yoshi was out of earshot. He elbowed Toad lightly, wiggling his eyebrows. "That Yoshi's kinda cute, huh?"

Toad felt his face flush. "I swear, _every time_!"


	5. Candy House

**Title- Candy House**

**Summary- The holidays really can take a toll on you . . . That's what Toad's hoping to blame it on.**

**Words- 588**

**Inspiration- This is just what I've always imagined Christmas to be like around the Mushroom Kingdom.**

**Notes- Alright . . . I'm late for Christmas, but at least I'm updating!**

Christmas was quickly approaching Mushroom Kingdom; and _boy_, were they ready. They always were, every year, for they had a game plan. Everyone was set into groups (mostly by species), and each group was given a certain job.

Placing the final gumdrop on a tiny green-frosting lawn, Toad smiled in triumph. Making gingerbread houses was the job of the Toads, and Toad himself was pretty pleased with the results. Two-and-a-half hours, and he had already produced seven successful gingerbread houses. He hadn't expected to do so well, especially after taking last year off with the mushroom flu.

Yes, everything was going particularly well. Jolly, he might even say.

Something pushed down on his hat, almost making him crumble to the ground under the pressure. What in World 1 . . . ?

"Afternoon, fungus face."

Toad almost groaned. He'd recognize that voice anywhere. "Why is it with you and popping up outta nowhere?"

"This is coming from a mushroom."

"I didn't come out of the _ground_, stupid."

"Surprising."

Toad had already had enough. Quickly, he pushed upwards, Yoshi's arm going up and falling limp to his side. "What is _that_ supposed to mean?" He demanded, stepping up onto his tip-toes for maximum height boost. Still, he was a good foot shorter than the dinosaur, hat included.

Yoshi just chuckled. Toad fumed. He _hated_ that chuckle! The pitch, the tone, the speed, the fluttery sound it made, the way it echoed through Toad's head . . . Gritting his teeth, Toad swiveled on his toes, turning his back to Yoshi and grabbing a piece of gingerbread.

"What are you doing?" Yoshi's voice rang out.

A shiver ran down Toad's spine. Cold weather. He cringed. "What does it _look_ like I'm doing?"

"Making gingerbread houses."

"Well, that's exactly what I'm doing." A brief, distinct pause. "Now _scram_," he added irritably.

But Yoshi did not scram, nor move, nor budge. He lingered there, and with every passing moment Toad felt the rage boiling up inside him, making him feel just about ready to burst. "I _said_ scram," he added for good measure.

Yoshi didn't leave. "You're supposed to be working, right? Well, work."

Glancing over his shoulder, Toad gave him an odd look. "'Well, _work_?'" he repeated, maybe a bit louder than necessary. "What am I, your slave Toad?"

Yoshi doesn't shrug, or smirk, or throw out a snide remark laced with an insult. Instead, his gaze lowers to the ground at first, before returning to Toad. Staring at him with an unheard of sense of uneasiness and appreciation, he muttered, "You look more like _you_ when you work."

Toad was quiet for a moment. "What . . . what is _that_ supposed to mean?" Normally, when those words came out of Toad's mouth, it meant he was angry. Now was not the case. Yoshi wasn't insulting him, picking on him, or glaring at him. For once Toad didn't need to be angry, and it was starting to scare him.

Yoshi gave the slightest of shrugs, wrapping his arms around himself. "You don't pay attention to others. You're completely focused. You're in your own little world." There was a pause, before under his breath, Yoshi murmured, "That's what it means to be you . . . right?"

Toad didn't even bother responding. Black eyes locked with blue, and Toad thought clear as day, _Yes._

Yoshi's arms fell to his sides once more.

One swivel, and Toad was back to making gingerbread houses.

But not before an icy, "_Fine._ You can watch."


End file.
